“Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright that God may love thee.
Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death. Safe guard the helpless and do no wrong.”
(Balian of Ibelin)
It was 1185 when I was taken the oath and sworn to serve the Crusade.
For a twenty year-old man I had lived a harsh life since my family died back in Germany.
I did not blame anyone for my lost.
Since then, I kept asking about my existence in this world.
I felt like God had abandoned me, because I never got the answer:
“Why did my whole family have to die? Why am I alive?”.
My thought was filled with rage and I did not care about anything but survive.
I wandered and did many bad things before. I had to live so I can find the answer for my questions.
But it has changed since I met Lord Balian and his knights in Messina, port to the Holy Land.
I went to Jerusalem with them as knight of Ibelin whose job was to protect the city and defend the King.
Baldwin IV of Jerusalem was a wise king.
He had keeping the peace with Saladin, the great leader of the Muslim world, for almost six years now.
Though he was weak because of the leper, but known as one of the bravest kings Jerusalem had.
The King defeated the Saracens and sieged Jerusalem when he was only sixteen-year-old.
Since then, he became the king and declared peace between Muslims, Christians, and Jews who lived inside the wall of the Holy Land and every city under his jurisdiction.
King Baldwin once told Godefroy de Bouillon, Lord Balian's father,
"Do you know what I want to build in Jerusalem?", Baldwin said.
...Where there is peace between Muslims and Christians. So that we can live together side by side."
Now that I had served the King and the city for a year.
I was posted first in Ibelin for six months, serving Lord Balian.
Ibelin was once a dried city before Lord Balian came.
He, himself, who provoked the citizens to take responsibilty for building it.
I remember when he assembled all of us men at city's square, from high-rank officers to peasants, and told us,
"What man is a man who does not make the world better?"
I witnessed him working hard digging in search for water so that we all can have irrigation system.
I, myself, throwed down my arms and started to dig. His speech motivates me until now.
Three months after I left Ibelin for my knight's duty, I came to Ibelin to see Lord Balian, and I was amazed of its condition:
it was colored green and I felt like nobody is poor there.
I was a respectable knight and a Crusade, but still remained faithless. Once in a month, I came to Jerusalem and went to the hill where Jesus was crusified. I came there because, at the time, I wanted to seek for forgiveness.
But everytime I prayed, God never answered my prayers back.
The questions in my mind were still the same as before, and yet the answer never I found.
Once, I went to Nazareth and then Bethlehem to sought the same thing and it all still the same: God never spoke to me. I did not blame Him, I just confused and needed an answer.
I thought maybe I am outside God's grace.
When I went to Kerak, the stronghold of Guy the Lusignan, princess Sybilla's husband and a Templar, and in there I saw the Muslims prayed.
I asked my friend about what the Muslims said in their prayer.
My friend explained, "Praise be to God. It is proper to praise Him". "Sounds like our prayer.", I answered.
Since then, I locked down my religion deep in my mind and decided to hold all my prayers until I am certain about my existence first.
In 1186, a year before the great Muslim army took over Jerusalem, I was working for Reynald de Chatillon, a Knights of Templar.
At first, I was proud that I was one of them. But it was a terrible mistake I had chosen.
Knights of Templar was a secret society which duty was to protect Christendom from anykind of threat.
It was supposed to be a guilt of holy knights that was sworn to guide the lost from the devil's crossroad.
Even Godefroy de Bouillon was once a Templar.
But the time has changed so the men who lived in it.
In three months since I served as Templar, we had killed many Muslims and Jews without mercy. They were not guilty.
We butchered peasants, scholars, and anyone who were friends of the Muslims, or traitors the Christendom.
Ironically, we killed them in the name of God.
I thought we were fighting for God. Then I realised we were fighting for wealth and land. I was ashamed.
We become friends since we had a little fight on the desert, near the port of Jerusalem.
He is a brave man who has strong faith in his religion.
This conversation I had with him was one of the things that changed my mind.
The Wise King Baldwin IV died after he marched with Jerusalem knights to Kerak to had a truce with Sultan Saladin.
His last march was to clear misunderstanding about Muslim caravan attack near Cyprus.
Baldwin explained that the attack was not Jerusalem's fault, it was Templars.
This last meeting between Saladin and Baldwin will be the symbol of peace between Muslims and Christians.
After Baldwin's death, princess Sybilla became the Queen of Jerusalem but not for long. Her greedy and blood thirsted husband released the imprisoned Templars and then he declared war against Muslims.
This was the beginning of the fall of Jerusalem, and also the ruin of King Baldwin's virtue of peace in the Holy Land.
I was not a Templar anymore. I have done enough sin and I did not want to be burn in hell for lasting.
I know work for Tiberias, Marshall of Jerusalem.
Tiberias was wise enough to not letting his knights join the assembly. "They march for certain death, " he said.
"Killed Saladin's sister and provoke the Muslims where it was truely our fault is not a wise choice."
"I was old enough to play this nonsense!" he shouted to us.
So then we marched to Cyprus where it was a peace city. I have done with all this war.
I think it is not us human to decide who is right or wrong, or whose religion is the holiest.
I myself was once a Christians, but I am now a Muslims.
It is not because I do not believe in my previous but it's just my heart tells me that I want live and die as Muslim.
A wise King was said to me, "None of us choose our ends. A king may move a man, but remember, that even when those who move you,
either be kings or men of power, your soul is in your keeping alone.
Always believe in your heart, because there is the place that you can find God."
Now that I have found my chosen, I also have found the answers to all my questions.
I do not think about all things that I had done, but do the best for what will come.
I pray for my family so that we may see each other again in the after life.
What is done is done, nobody can pull back time.
Submit yourself to God so that you can see what you want to see, and feel what you want to feel.
It is now the kingdom of conscience, the kingdom of heaven.
The Holy Land is now a holy place for three religions which actually came from the same source.
There are no need for men carrying swords, shields, or arrows. I hope that this will will last forever. Peace be upon you
Written by: Dimas Rizky Pramana
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Wow, RP I had no idea you could write like that. I'm still mesmerized sitting back in my chair. But could you please write your paragraphs in an academic essay from. Other than that, I higly look forward to your writings.
BalasHapusThank you very much for your very wise comment, miss Putri. I really need critics from you. I'll try to write more academic form for my next assignments. Once again, thank you very very much for your comment, miss :)
BalasHapus